Article created by: Indrė Lukošiūtė Let’s not sugarcoat it: getting into college is a pretty big deal! It’s a huge step and the first page of a brand new chapter in your life. But getting into a quality educational institution takes more than just willpower. You need good grades, clear aspirations, and the ability to pen a quality admissions essay. However, far from every application works out. One internet user sparked an interesting discussion on r/AskReddit when they asked college admissions officers to share the very worst essays (and a few bizarrely good ones) they’ve ever had the ‘pleasure’ of reading. The college employees were more than happy to spill the tea. Scroll down to check out their stories below. Read More: “She Got In”: 30 Of The Worst College Admission Essays Shared In This Thread #1 Read essays for a scholarship, not admissions. Most were about mission trips through churches and how much the student had learned. Boring and mediocre. But one... Packed with amazing imagery, the writer described her birth. Into the world of freedom and adulthood she was born. Pushing open the "doors". Light striking her face for the first time. So vivid. Got to the end and she was describing getting a luxury car at her graduation party. It was a scholarship for needy kids. She didn't get it. Image credits: stephanois #2 "My Mexican nanny was like a second mother to me and I know she felt the same way because she spent holidays with us instead of her own family. Image credits: FoolishConsistency17 #3 I worked in writing centers for several years and we helped people write these essays. Somebody came in with a med school essay about how she wanted to become a doctor to offer her family free surgery, so when I asked her about it and if she knew much about medical ethics, she said she thought operating on family members--esp. plastic surgery--would be just fine. I also asked her if she knew about the Hippocratic Oath and she had never heard of it. Image credits: phoenix-corn #4 I used to work in admissions and my boss had pinned an essay up in her cubicle with the name whited-out. The entire thing was written like the applicant was a cat. She talked about coming to learn with silly humans and how art would be a cat's true passion if cats had passions. She said that she didn't care about getting in, she just wanted to prove that she could. I don't think she was accepted, but that would have just been because of grades or text score, not the essay. That essay was legendary. Image credits: now_in_the_know #5 A student began his essay bragging that he was "king" of his school. He was a linebacker, captain of the lacrosse team, and had been with "four older, attractive girls in the last 6 months." He was attempting to contextualize himself as a dude bro to juxtapose his discovered love of poetry, but only provided the committee with a laughs and eye rolls. Also read numerous essays this year from middle/upper-class white kids talking about how hard it is to be Christian in the United States because they are ridiculed, mocked, and even persecuted(!) for their beliefs Image credits: Ironghazi #6 I read essays for a scholarship foundation and the worst essay I have ever read was from a girl who wrote that she was a good person and she backed that up by stating that she was a virgin. First of all I don't think being a virgin makes you a good person or not being one makes you a bad person. Second of all, who the hell talks about their virginity on a scholarship application? Image credits: D4Bama #7 Not an admissions officer, but when I was applying to colleges, an admissions officer told us about one student who wrote about tomatoes. Specifically, how people either like tomatoes or hate them; there is no in-between. She got in. Image credits: capri1722 #8 A applicant literally wrote something along the lines of please don't accept me I don't want to go to your school in the addendum section of our application because his parents forced him to apply. Another time an applicant submitted a essay composed of Japanese characters that when put through google translate turned out to be a loosely translated version of cat in the hat. Image credits: stone4345 #9 I remember an applicant who wrote at length about how she panics under pressure, lacks leadership skills and can't stand hospitals. It was a medical school application. I called her to make sure we weren't getting trolled. 10 seconds into the call she began panicking and said she doesn't do well with stressful phone calls and hung up. I called later to check up and she seemed to have recovered. No interview for her though. Image credits: needs_more_zoidberg #10 I love a question I can legitimately answer! There was a happiest place prompt. Her happiest place was the bathroom. While pooping. A story about meeting poor people while on a service trip to South America (a frequent cliche) that ended with tossing soap and pens and pencils to a small child who danced for them, until he cried of gratitude (or perhaps because teenagers were throwing things at him) Someone who wrote about her school trip to Ireland, where she mentioned staring out at the Pacific Ocean from her hotel Image credits: greenoakofenglish #11 The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain. April 23, 1935 John F. Kennedy Image credits: tingwong #12 I know a college admissions person and one time they told me that a student wrote down that they can “Distinguish bra cup sizes by a simple glance at a woman”. They were not impressed Image credits: TheBerg18 #13 Admissions counselor here. I've been doing this for almost nine years, so everything kind of blends together at this point. I can't think of a specific "worst essay," but a lot of them fall into a few broad categories. Sympathy essays These essays are usually a big list of all the terrible things that happened to a student in hopes that we will admit them because we feel bad. Don't just tell us all the things that have happened to you and nothing else. A LOT of prospective students have gone through the divorce of their parents, death of a friend or family member, medical issues, car accident, etc. You need to explain how these events shaped you as a human being, what you learned, how you handled adversity and still managed your academics and so on. Over-sharing essays These are kind of like sympathy essays, only with much more graphic details. I've had some essays where students share intricate descriptions of sexual abuse they have experienced, or abusive relationships they were in with high school girl/boyfriends... This may have been a major experience that shaped you as a human being, but I don't think is appropriate for a college essay. If I feel the need to take a shower after reading your essay, that's not good for anyone. Also included here are essays where you admit that you didn't try hard in high school or take your academics seriously, but you're going to start in college. Maybe you should start in junior college then, and we'll see how it goes before you get to a four-year university. Poorly written essays Spelling errors, grammar mistakes, no formatting... THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. Have someone read your essay before you send it. Have several people read it! It's not cheating; we encourage you to do this. Also, if you're using the same essay for multiple colleges, make sure you change the name of the college referenced in your essay before you send it to that college. Low-effort essays Some students submit an essay that is about five sentences long and doesn't really say anything. If it takes you more time to attach your essay to the application than it does to write the essay, that is not a good thing. Boring essays Most essays are not all that interesting to read, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. If your essay doesn't stand out at all, it probably means that you answered the essay topic and didn't make any, or many, mistakes. That's about as much as we can ask for. It's not your fault that the typical high school experience for the vast majority of high school students is... typical. You probably didn't enter your freshman year thinking, "I better do some really cool stuff during the next few years so that I can write about it in my college essay." That's fine, we get that. Just do the best you can. In reality, for most students, the essay is the weakest part of the application. We realize that, and so in every office I've worked in, the essay is the least valued part of the application file. We're much more interested in whether you challenged yourself academically, earned good grades, scored well on the SAT/ACT, and got involved in extracurricular activities. These things are all way more important. Image credits: nonnativetexan #14 For their GPA they put 95. One student listed their high school as “idk” One student listed their intended major as teaching and their minor in “principle” I asked one person how to spell their name and they had to ask their mother how to spell it. Multiple people have actually tried listing their IQ as a reason for admittance. If you get to write your own personal essay do not write “Why?” As the title and the entire essay be “why not?” Maybe not too ridiculous but they stuck with me Image credits: I-Hate-Hats #15 I wont say how i know this person but he answered an essay question asking what he would do if he had 100 dollars by explaining he would go to the local playground where homeless people congregated and host a mini olympics where the homeless could compete for the 150 burgers he purchased with the money. The idea was to feed them but also do a study in human behaviors. This was for John Hopkin's and I'm pretty sure they were not pleased. Haha. Image credits: TheTaoOfMe #16 Ones with text speak (r, u, 4ever), ones where kids forgot to change the name of the school for a different essay, ones where they tried to explain they're a good student despite a 2.0 gpa.. Image credits: anon #17 Former admissions counselor here: The worst essays, generally, are not particularly interesting. They receive the worst scores because they are short, incomplete, riddled with grammatical mistakes, or are written by non-native speakers. It takes 30 seconds to give the lowest score and move on. However, one memorable essay sticks out. A student (rich, white, private school) wrote eloquently about how inner city black students ought to take up more sports. Specifically, polo, lacrosse, and squash. With conviction, this particular student, woefully unaware, wrote about how inner city students could learn more about competition and overcoming adversity from taking up these sports. His proposal was to host sports camps (in the suburbs) for the students of color to attend. Image credits: BlueLightSpcl #18 The worst CV I ever saw as part of an application to a graduate program was a barely-intelligible, un-formatted mess that included such bits of information as she likes to spend her free time reading and her favorite book is "fifty shade gray" #19 Girlfriend is a college admissions officer. She read over a hundred essays from Chinese prospective students that all talked about "helping the blind". Had no idea that so many Chinese teenagers were active in their blind communities. Image credits: chazu_ #20 I talked with some admissions people and their biggest peeve is when someone talks about volunteering for an under-served population and they end with "I went there to help them but they ended up helping me!" chestnut. Image credits: bakerton #21 We had an applicant send in a book they wrote and published themselves. It was difficult for us to really read it, because for some reason the book really stank. We just put it in their file and shut the door. Image credits: daweiandahalf #22 A girl in my school wrote about how she thinks the essay portion of applications should be removed because it's degrading to the student. Don't remember if she got in. Image credits: disperses #23 He translated his essay into binary by hand. Not a college admission officer but a lady at an engineering conference was bragging about her son's 750 Math SAT and how he was so brilliant and his application essay was so unique that he would surely get into MIT. I'm about 90% certain that application went immediately into the trash. Image credits: anon #24 A kid tried to justify a massive amount of absences by explaining that he had a phobia of worms and was unable to walk to school after it had rained (as worms had crawled out into the sidewalk). Image credits: anon “She Got In”: 24 Of The Worst College Admission Essays Shared In This Thread

Article created by: Indrė Lukošiūtė

Let’s not sugarcoat it: getting into college is a pretty big deal! It’s a huge step and the first page of a brand new chapter in your life. But getting into a quality educational institution takes more than just willpower. You need good grades, clear aspirations, and the ability to pen a quality admissions essay. 

However, far from every application works out. One internet user sparked an interesting discussion on r/AskReddit when they asked college admissions officers to share the very worst essays (and a few bizarrely good ones) they’ve ever had the ‘pleasure’ of reading. The college employees were more than happy to spill the tea. Scroll down to check out their stories below.

• Read More: “She Got In”: 30 Of The Worst College Admission Essays Shared In This Thread

#1

Read essays for a scholarship, not admissions.

Most were about mission trips through churches and how much the student had learned. Boring and mediocre. But one...

Packed with amazing imagery, the writer described her birth. Into the world of freedom and adulthood she was born. Pushing open the "doors". Light striking her face for the first time. So vivid. Got to the end and she was describing getting a luxury car at her graduation party. It was a scholarship for needy kids. She didn't get it.

Image credits: stephanois

#2

"My Mexican nanny was like a second mother to me and I know she felt the same way because she spent holidays with us instead of her own family.

Image credits: FoolishConsistency17

#3

I worked in writing centers for several years and we helped people write these essays. Somebody came in with a med school essay about how she wanted to become a doctor to offer her family free surgery, so when I asked her about it and if she knew much about medical ethics, she said she thought operating on family members--esp. plastic surgery--would be just fine. I also asked her if she knew about the Hippocratic Oath and she had never heard of it.

Image credits: phoenix-corn

#4

I used to work in admissions and my boss had pinned an essay up in her cubicle with the name whited-out. The entire thing was written like the applicant was a cat. She talked about coming to learn with silly humans and how art would be a cat's true passion if cats had passions. She said that she didn't care about getting in, she just wanted to prove that she could. I don't think she was accepted, but that would have just been because of grades or text score, not the essay. That essay was legendary.

Image credits: now_in_the_know

#5

A student began his essay bragging that he was "king" of his school. He was a linebacker, captain of the lacrosse team, and had been with "four older, attractive girls in the last 6 months." He was attempting to contextualize himself as a dude bro to juxtapose his discovered love of poetry, but only provided the committee with a laughs and eye rolls.

Also read numerous essays this year from middle/upper-class white kids talking about how hard it is to be Christian in the United States because they are ridiculed, mocked, and even persecuted(!) for their beliefs

Image credits: Ironghazi

#6

I read essays for a scholarship foundation and the worst essay I have ever read was from a girl who wrote that she was a good person and she backed that up by stating that she was a virgin. First of all I don't think being a virgin makes you a good person or not being one makes you a bad person. Second of all, who the hell talks about their virginity on a scholarship application?

Image credits: D4Bama

#7

Not an admissions officer, but when I was applying to colleges, an admissions officer told us about one student who wrote about tomatoes. Specifically, how people either like tomatoes or hate them; there is no in-between. She got in.

Image credits: capri1722

#8

A applicant literally wrote something along the lines of please don't accept me I don't want to go to your school in the addendum section of our application because his parents forced him to apply.

Another time an applicant submitted a essay composed of Japanese characters that when put through google translate turned out to be a loosely translated version of cat in the hat.

Image credits: stone4345

#9

I remember an applicant who wrote at length about how she panics under pressure, lacks leadership skills and can't stand hospitals. It was a medical school application. I called her to make sure we weren't getting trolled. 10 seconds into the call she began panicking and said she doesn't do well with stressful phone calls and hung up. I called later to check up and she seemed to have recovered. No interview for her though.

Image credits: needs_more_zoidberg

#10

I love a question I can legitimately answer!

There was a happiest place prompt. Her happiest place was the bathroom. While pooping.

A story about meeting poor people while on a service trip to South America (a frequent cliche) that ended with tossing soap and pens and pencils to a small child who danced for them, until he cried of gratitude (or perhaps because teenagers were throwing things at him)

Someone who wrote about her school trip to Ireland, where she mentioned staring out at the Pacific Ocean from her hotel

Image credits: greenoakofenglish

#11

The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain.


April 23, 1935


John F. Kennedy

Image credits: tingwong

#12

I know a college admissions person and one time they told me that a student wrote down that they can “Distinguish bra cup sizes by a simple glance at a woman”.

They were not impressed

Image credits: TheBerg18

#13

Admissions counselor here. I've been doing this for almost nine years, so everything kind of blends together at this point. I can't think of a specific "worst essay," but a lot of them fall into a few broad categories.

Sympathy essays

These essays are usually a big list of all the terrible things that happened to a student in hopes that we will admit them because we feel bad. Don't just tell us all the things that have happened to you and nothing else. A LOT of prospective students have gone through the divorce of their parents, death of a friend or family member, medical issues, car accident, etc. You need to explain how these events shaped you as a human being, what you learned, how you handled adversity and still managed your academics and so on.

Over-sharing essays

These are kind of like sympathy essays, only with much more graphic details. I've had some essays where students share intricate descriptions of sexual abuse they have experienced, or abusive relationships they were in with high school girl/boyfriends... This may have been a major experience that shaped you as a human being, but I don't think is appropriate for a college essay. If I feel the need to take a shower after reading your essay, that's not good for anyone. Also included here are essays where you admit that you didn't try hard in high school or take your academics seriously, but you're going to start in college. Maybe you should start in junior college then, and we'll see how it goes before you get to a four-year university.

Poorly written essays

Spelling errors, grammar mistakes, no formatting... THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. Have someone read your essay before you send it. Have several people read it! It's not cheating; we encourage you to do this. Also, if you're using the same essay for multiple colleges, make sure you change the name of the college referenced in your essay before you send it to that college.

Low-effort essays

Some students submit an essay that is about five sentences long and doesn't really say anything. If it takes you more time to attach your essay to the application than it does to write the essay, that is not a good thing.

Boring essays

Most essays are not all that interesting to read, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. If your essay doesn't stand out at all, it probably means that you answered the essay topic and didn't make any, or many, mistakes. That's about as much as we can ask for. It's not your fault that the typical high school experience for the vast majority of high school students is... typical. You probably didn't enter your freshman year thinking, "I better do some really cool stuff during the next few years so that I can write about it in my college essay." That's fine, we get that. Just do the best you can.

In reality, for most students, the essay is the weakest part of the application. We realize that, and so in every office I've worked in, the essay is the least valued part of the application file. We're much more interested in whether you challenged yourself academically, earned good grades, scored well on the SAT/ACT, and got involved in extracurricular activities. These things are all way more important.

Image credits: nonnativetexan

#14

For their GPA they put 95. One student listed their high school as “idk” One student listed their intended major as teaching and their minor in “principle” I asked one person how to spell their name and they had to ask their mother how to spell it. Multiple people have actually tried listing their IQ as a reason for admittance. If you get to write your own personal essay do not write “Why?” As the title and the entire essay be “why not?” Maybe not too ridiculous but they stuck with me

Image credits: I-Hate-Hats

#15

I wont say how i know this person but he answered an essay question asking what he would do if he had 100 dollars by explaining he would go to the local playground where homeless people congregated and host a mini olympics where the homeless could compete for the 150 burgers he purchased with the money. The idea was to feed them but also do a study in human behaviors. This was for John Hopkin's and I'm pretty sure they were not pleased. Haha.

Image credits: TheTaoOfMe

#16

Ones with text speak (r, u, 4ever), ones where kids forgot to change the name of the school for a different essay, ones where they tried to explain they're a good student despite a 2.0 gpa..

Image credits: anon

#17

Former admissions counselor here:

The worst essays, generally, are not particularly interesting. They receive the worst scores because they are short, incomplete, riddled with grammatical mistakes, or are written by non-native speakers. It takes 30 seconds to give the lowest score and move on.

However, one memorable essay sticks out. A student (rich, white, private school) wrote eloquently about how inner city black students ought to take up more sports. Specifically, polo, lacrosse, and squash. With conviction, this particular student, woefully unaware, wrote about how inner city students could learn more about competition and overcoming adversity from taking up these sports. His proposal was to host sports camps (in the suburbs) for the students of color to attend.

Image credits: BlueLightSpcl

#18

The worst CV I ever saw as part of an application to a graduate program was a barely-intelligible, un-formatted mess that included such bits of information as she likes to spend her free time reading and her favorite book is "fifty shade gray"

#19

Girlfriend is a college admissions officer. She read over a hundred essays from Chinese prospective students that all talked about "helping the blind". Had no idea that so many Chinese teenagers were active in their blind communities.

Image credits: chazu_

#20

I talked with some admissions people and their biggest peeve is when someone talks about volunteering for an under-served population and they end with "I went there to help them but they ended up helping me!" chestnut.

Image credits: bakerton

#21

We had an applicant send in a book they wrote and published themselves. It was difficult for us to really read it, because for some reason the book really stank. We just put it in their file and shut the door.

Image credits: daweiandahalf

#22

A girl in my school wrote about how she thinks the essay portion of applications should be removed because it's degrading to the student. Don't remember if she got in.

Image credits: disperses

#23

He translated his essay into binary by hand.

Not a college admission officer but a lady at an engineering conference was bragging about her son's 750 Math SAT and how he was so brilliant and his application essay was so unique that he would surely get into MIT.

I'm about 90% certain that application went immediately into the trash.

Image credits: anon

#24

A kid tried to justify a massive amount of absences by explaining that he had a phobia of worms and was unable to walk to school after it had rained (as worms had crawled out into the sidewalk).

Image credits: anon

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